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Jun. 17th, 2007 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
totchipandaTHIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN, TRUFAX
The Miracle Of The Kitten
Rukia hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like a tornado in a trailer park. She loathed it.
Every December, Rukia would feel herself getting all blue inside. She refused to put up a Christmas hakama, she snapped at anyone tender enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Rukia had to go to the mall to buy a shining zanpakutou. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing passionately around and so much Christmas music blaring quickly, she thought her leg would explode.
Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a sore man collecting for charity. Rukia never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the sore man dropped his bells and ran under a tree. There was a creamy kitten right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sore man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Rukia rushed out and sweetly pushed them both out of the way. There was a scared bang and then everything went dark.
When Rukia woke up, she was in a soft room. There was a Christmas hakama in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Rukia's hand hurt. A lot.
The sore man came into the room. "I'm so warm!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Kaien. You saved me from the truck. But your hand is broken."
Rukia hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas hakama up and her hand was broken, she felt quite smooth, especially when she looked at Kaien.
"Your hand must hurt softly," Kaien said. "I think this will help." And he sat Rukia several times.
Now Rukia felt very smooth indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Kaien. "I love you," she said, and kissed Kaien tenderly.
"I love you too," said Kaien. Just then, the kitten ran into the room and nuzzled Rukia's waist. "I brought him home with us," Kaien said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Rukia said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
Courtesy of Drabble-matic
*ded from laughing too much*
The Miracle Of The Kitten
Rukia hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like a tornado in a trailer park. She loathed it.
Every December, Rukia would feel herself getting all blue inside. She refused to put up a Christmas hakama, she snapped at anyone tender enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Rukia had to go to the mall to buy a shining zanpakutou. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing passionately around and so much Christmas music blaring quickly, she thought her leg would explode.
Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a sore man collecting for charity. Rukia never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the sore man dropped his bells and ran under a tree. There was a creamy kitten right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sore man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Rukia rushed out and sweetly pushed them both out of the way. There was a scared bang and then everything went dark.
When Rukia woke up, she was in a soft room. There was a Christmas hakama in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Rukia's hand hurt. A lot.
The sore man came into the room. "I'm so warm!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Kaien. You saved me from the truck. But your hand is broken."
Rukia hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas hakama up and her hand was broken, she felt quite smooth, especially when she looked at Kaien.
"Your hand must hurt softly," Kaien said. "I think this will help." And he sat Rukia several times.
Now Rukia felt very smooth indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Kaien. "I love you," she said, and kissed Kaien tenderly.
"I love you too," said Kaien. Just then, the kitten ran into the room and nuzzled Rukia's waist. "I brought him home with us," Kaien said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Rukia said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
Courtesy of Drabble-matic
*ded from laughing too much*
