totchipanda

My wifey is sad. So I did some mad-libs to cheer her up :>

The Poodle Prince

Tristan was walking through a mild meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a hypnotic little poodle lying under a tree.

Tristan skipped over to see the dear thing and was impassive to find that he was hurt! A guitar had pierced his sweet little foot and he whimpered carefully with the pain.

"My warm little friend," Tristan said. "Let me help you!" He took ou this Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the guitar, as gently as he could. The poodle cried out and Tristan's heart ached, like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. "You'll be allright," Tristan whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Ren and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Ren up in his arms, Tristan carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Tristan nursed Ren, cleaning his foot and feeding him Motorcycle-brand poodle chow.

On the eighth night, Ren climbed into bed with Tristan. He burrowed under the covers and huskily ran Tristan's cock. It made Tristan giggle and he cuddled close to Ren, stroking his hand and singing slowly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Tristan hurried home so he could curl up with Ren. It gave him a wealthy feelin gwhenever Ren ran his cock.

Then one night, Ren looked up at Tristan and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a feral prince."

Tristan screamed angrily, he was so surprised. How could a poodle talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Ren said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Tristan said and kissed Ren on his hand. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a feral prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Ren," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Tristan said.

"See?" Ren said and showed Tristan the scar from the guitar on his foot. Then he kissed Tristan and they tumbled on a rock and did a lot of very grim things, some of them involving a clear coin.

"I love you," Ren said when they were done. Tristan clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Ren had stashed away.

And if Ren didn't know about Tristan's visits to the poodle sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

The Sweet Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Ren and Tristan went ou tto play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball figh tand Ren hit Tristan in his cock with a big clear iceball. It hurt a lot, but Ren kissed it angrily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really grim snow man!" Ren said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Tristan said. "That would be more feral and politically correct."

"I know," Ren said. "We can make a snow poodle. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up carefully and made a warm snow poodle. Ren put on a guitar for the hand. The poodle was almost as big as Tristan.

"It looks impassive," Ren said slowly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Tristan said and held up a wealthy motorcycle. "I found this on a rock." He put the motorcycle onto the poodle's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the poodle, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

Tristan screamed huskily and ran but the snow poodle chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow poodle ran him gently.

"Nobody does that to my little Hypnotic Coin," Ren screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow poodle through the foot. It fell down and Ren kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Tristan said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The motorcycle lay in the yard until a mild child picked it up and took it home.

I Saw Ren Kissing Santa Claus

Tristan woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents unde rthe tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one impassive box that looked like a coin.

Then Tristan noticed that Ren was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Tristan thought that he would surprise Ren. Maybe even sneak up behind him and run him on his sweet cock. That always made Ren feral.

Tristan crept huskily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its grim lights, and the presents, heaped up angrily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Ren. Kissing someone.

Tristan was so angry, he picked up a guitar from a table and threw it carefully on a rock.

They both looked around.

"Ren, you wealthy poodle!" Tristan yelled. "How could you cheat on m ewith...with..." Tristan looked and then rubbed his hand and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Ren said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a hypnotic kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Tristan said slowly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be warm."

That seemed reasonable. Tristan went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. He made Tristan's foot feel all mild.

"You see?" Ren said gently and Tristan saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

A Wealthy Occurrence

Tristan paced up and down, jiggling his cock. His very good friend,Mary Sue Guitar, had arranged to meet him here on a rock. "I have something impassive to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Guitar was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now,Tristan expected to see her bounce up, her mild hair streaming behind her and her clear eyes aglow.

Tristan heard footsteps, but they seemed rather hypnotic for a delicate and feral girl like Mary Sue Guitar, whose tread was warm. He turned around and found Ren staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Ren said huskily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Tristan had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so gently. "Mary Sue Guitar asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Ren, his foot began to throb carefully.

"Oh," Ren said, slowly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Tristan said and caught Ren by his hand. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Ren said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

From behind a coin, Mary Sue Guitar watched with a sweet light in her grim eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off"Tristan/Ren". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man findlove again, just as soon as she'd saved the poodle from extinction.

The Adventure Of The Poodle

Tristan and Ren were out for a clear Valentine's walk on a rock. As they went, Ren rested his hand on Tristan's hand. It was the mos tromantic walk ever. But even though the day was so wealthy, Tristan was filled with warm dread.

"Do you suppose it's sweet here?" he asked slowly.

"You grim silly," Ren said, tickling Tristan with his guitar. "It's completely mild."

Just then, an impassive poodle leapt out from behind a motorcycle and ran Ren in the cock. "Aaargh!" Ren screamed.

Things looked feral. But Tristan, although he was hypnotic, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a coin and, like a rainbow that casts ahappy glow o'er all the land, beat the poodle gently until it ran off."That will teach you to run innocent people."

Then he clasped Ren close. Ren was bleeding angrily. "My darling," Tristan said, and pressed his lips to Ren's foot.

"I love you," Ren said carefully, and expired in Tristan's arms.

Tristan never loved again.

Tristan and Ren
by William Shakespeare

Enter Tristan

Ren appears above at a window

Tristan:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the coin, and Ren is the poodle.
Arise, sweet poodle, and run the hypnotic motorcycle.
See, how he leans his cock upon his hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cock!

Ren:
O Tristan, Tristan! wherefore art thou Tristan?
What's in a name? That which we call a foot
By any other name would smell as impassive
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove grim.

Tristan:
Swain, by yonder hypnotic motorcycle I swear
That tips on a rock the mild guitar--

Ren:
O, swear not by the motorcycle, the wealthy motorcycle,
That angrily changes in its warm orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise warm.
Sweet, clear night! A thousand times clear night!
Parting is such feral sorrow,
That I shall say clear night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Tristan:
Sleep dwell upon thy cock, peace in thy hand!
Would I were sleep and peace, so huskily to rest!
gently will I to my sweet foot's cell,
Its help to run, and my impassive foot to tell.

The Miracle Of The Poodle

Tristan hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. He loathed it.

Every December, Tristan would feel himself getting all feral inside. He refused to put up a Christmas guitar, he snapped at anyone sweet enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Tristan had to go to the mall to buy a wealthy coin.When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing gently aroundand so much Christmas music blaring huskily, he thought his hand would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a clear man collecting for charity. Tristan never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the clear man dropped his bells and ran on a rock. There was a warm poodle right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the clear man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Tristan rushed out and angrily pushed them both out of the way. There was a grim bang and then everything went dark.

When Tristan woke up, he was in an impassive room. There was a Christmas guitar in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also,Tristan's foot hurt. A lot.

The clear man came into the room. "I'm so hypnotic!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Ren. You saved me from the truck. But your foot is broken."

Tristan hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas guitar up and his foot was broken, he felt quite mild, especially when he looked at Ren.

"Your foot must hurt carefully," Ren said. "I think this will help." And he ran Tristan several times.

Now Tristan felt very mild indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Ren. "I love you," he said, and kissed Ren slowly.

"I love you too," said Ren. Just then, the poodle ran into the room and nuzzled Tristan's cock. "I brought him home with us," Ren said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Tristan said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.