Weird dreams

[totchipanda]

My grampas health has taken a turn for the worse. He was hospitalized a couple weeks ago and on Saturday dad said he was looking better, but yeaterday the hospital called and had asked gramma if she thought grampa would consider life support. They wanted to talk to her and dad. My brother and I decided to go along, and one of my sisters is coming from out of town too.

I knew when this all started that grampa "feeling better" may not have the best outcome, depending on how you look at it. But I have long been a supporter of right-to-die care (I think it was grade 7... I remember writing an essay about it when I wanted to be working on bad Jurassic Park fanfiction) and I honestly cannot see an ending to this with my grampa healthy enough to go back to the home with gramma and on his own two feet. I've been crying since dad texted me yesterday and I'm sure I'll cry more today, but that's where we are at... 7:14 am.

I had some weird dreams last night, but when I looked at the meanings behind some of the symbolism, it makes sense given how high my emotions and anxiety is right now. The TL;DR version is all tied into my granpa's health. The long version below involves teeth.



I've had dreams of my teeth falling out for ages but never knew what it really meant. Sometimes they happened around times when my teeth were bothering me, like when my wisdoms were being a pain, but never seemed to be related to my actual teeth.

The last time I looked it up, it said that it was related to money issues. I certainly have those right now, but that didn't feel right either.

This morning I looked it up again and found several interpretations. One was about appearance (Nope), one was about money (yes but not the feeling I had), one was about feeling powerless (closer...), and one suggested that in some cultures, it means that someone close to you is dying. Bingo.

So in my dream, bff-Dzi was in a state of ...something, and she wanted me to become Jude's primary care-giver. (Jude is currently almost-5, Dzi is his mum and I can't even begin to tell you how much she loves that kid) I of course said "of course", but I don't really know what reason she gave. In real life, my downstairs work-tenants are renovating and are prone to random bouts of loud drilling that drown out anything anyone is saying, and every time dream-Dzi tried to explain why I needed to take Jude, random bouts of drilling happened. Dream-me and real-me feel the same way though, of course we'll take Jude in.

Ack, just realized what that could tie into... Dream-Jude was about 7 years old, almost the same age I was when my mum left and we went to go live with gramma and grampa.

As dream-me was preparing a space for Dream-Jude, one of my upper molars came free and I was able to easily pull it out. It seemed a reasonable size then though now that I'm awake I know it was far too large. It came out in two pieces, one larger than the other. My dentist had their office in the same building so I made time to take it over to them. I asked if it was an important tooth, being the last molar in my mouth.

Well, yes, they said, and we could possibly fix it and put it back, but it needs a root canal. Eek, said I, my insurance won't cover that, do i really really need to put it back? They scraped off a part of the tooth, showing how fragile it was. It really needs a root canal.

Then stuff happened and I checked on the two halves later. The larger half of this very oddly shaped tooth began to shrink away from the outer enamel, leaving hollow spaces inside. The other half barely registered a change.

I don't really remember what was happening when I woke up, but after looking up the meanings, the symbolism is pretty obvious. I rarely ascribe meanings or prophecy to my dreams since they tend to be much more random, but this one was vivid, detailed, and clear.

Comments

[zoi-no-miko.livejournal.com]

:( I'm so sorry about everything. :(

*virtu-hugs*

[andrea-miccaver.livejournal.com]

Weird about the teeth thing.

I have had teeth falling out dreams for the last few days. Was thinking maybe I just need to see a dentist? But maybe it's the fear of loss (money, people, power). It's crummy. =(

[totchipanda.livejournal.com]

I always thought that too, but the sensation in the dreams was never about actual dental work, it was always about teeth getting too large or falling out or coming loose, and when something is as deeply ingrained in your psyche as your teeth well... the other meanings make a bit more sense. (In the way that growing up your baby teeth come out and your adult teeth come in, usually done by what, age 12? And then you have them FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, so it's kinda like your whole world revolves around your teeth being attached to your head, and you use them every single day and... yanno?)