totchipanda

Thank you for the kind comments about my poor thumb. It's a little less tender today, but the bruise is getting pretty spectacular. Should be fun to watch that develop over the next while.

Yesterday was a fandom kind of day. I had an ask on tumblr for fic recs so I finally pulled out the laptop to post those (it's easier than on mobile, but the editor is more... "powerful word processor" than "simple DW box" and HTML coding never works, but it's what I know best, and it was a process trying to get the post looking neat and working properly). One of my very favourite fics also wrapped up yesterday with a massive 28k "chapter" that I totally read at work while pretending not to. I have no illusions that anyone was fooled. What am I supposed to do now??? My other favourite author left the fandom (the fiasco in January) so now I have to find new stuff to read??? Sigh.

The fic was so beautiful though.

And in the fic recs, the same anon went to many authors on tumblr and asked the same thing, and my own fic got recced. TWICE! The first time by the author of the one that just finished that I love so much! ASMnAO:AS?? I feel so much self-imposed pressure! What if the story doesn't end in a way that people like? (it will, the bonus of working in an established universe with an established pairing) What if I don't deal with the conflict that *I* created in a satisfying way?? WHAT IF -- I'm all in my head. I've always been all in my head. I always struggle with the middles of stories, and I'm so grateful for my betas/editors/friends for helping me keep on track.

Also, how am I supposed to keep on with my own story now that that one has finished up so beautifully. I left a comment saying that I would have to come back later. And I will, once I have a moment to sit down and read it again, fully immersed this time.